Falling
by Gwil
Summary: Sam's not dealing with the aftermath of her abduction as well as she'd like people to think. Sequel to Chosen. Now Complete.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Stargate SG-1, I'm not associated with those who do, and I'm making absolutely no money off of this.

**Rating:** K+

_A/N: Okay, here it is... the first part of my sequel to Chosen. I wasn't actually going to post this until I had the whole thing written, but I need some more motivation and I'm hoping that starting to post might give me a swift kick in the mikta._

_Oh, in case you're wondering if it's vital for you to read Chosen first to understand this story... maybe not, but it would probably make more sense._

_And this isn't a romance but there'll be some J/S comfort eventually._

_I had such a great time receiving all your reviews for Chosen... I hope I don't let you down!_

_Thanks to Lilly for checking this part over for me.

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Falling - Chapter 1:

It was dark.

Pitch black dark. And so cold.

She couldn't get away, couldn't move. Something -- some unseen force -- was pinning her down, trapping her.

Fear swept over her, seeping through her skin and into her very core. She couldn't breathe. She was suffocating.

A flash of light. And with it, horror spilled forth, gripping at her heart. Gripping, squeezing, crushing...

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Samantha Carter awoke with a gasp, her body covered in perspiration and her heart racing. Raggedly drawing air into her lungs, she sat up, blinking against the light from the lamp she had never turned off.

_A dream. Just another dream._

Annoyance, along with a flicker of anger, quickly replaced her fear. Flinging away the tangled sheet, Sam got out of bed and pulled on her robe. She left her bedroom, heading for the kitchen, flicking on lights as she went. She filled the kettle and set it to boil before turning on the TV for background noise.

Then she grabbed her laptop settled down on the couch, propping up her still-healing feet. She wouldn't be getting any more sleep tonight, she knew that for certain. Knew from experience. All her nights seemed to end up like this lately. It was getting to be a bad habit. One that Sam despised but had no idea how to break.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Monday morning. A morning that most people weren't overly keen on, but one that Sam had been impatiently awaiting for the past few days. Because this Monday morning she was returning to the base for the first time since Janet had discharged her from the infirmary after her experience with the psychotic Marvin Garrett.

Showered and dressed, Sam was in her kitchen enjoying a final few sips of coffee and looking forward to finally getting out of her house.

Just as she was about to set her mug down on the counter, something made contact with her front door with a loud thump. Sam jumped, nearly spilling coffee all down the front of her shirt. She cursed under her breath, angered by her reaction and her still-racing heart.

_Just the weekly paper_, she chided herself harshly.

Memories of her recent abduction threatened to creep to the front of her mind, but Sam pushed them firmly away. That was something she'd been doing a lot lately -- trying not to think about the fear she'd felt, trying not to remember. But despite all her efforts, the memories somehow managed to always be lurking at the edge of her thoughts, never quite letting her be free of them. They were always there waiting for her to let her guard down.

But that was going to change now, Sam was sure. Now that she was going to get out of the house and get back to work. The past few days she just hadn't had enough to do, sitting around the house on her own most of the time while her injuries healed. Once she got back to work and had other things to focus on, she was sure her unpleasant memories and lingering fears would quickly fade away. And the nightmares would stop, too. At least, she hoped they would.

Dumping the remains of her coffee down the sink, Sam grabbed her keys and her laptop and headed for the door. It was time to get back to work. It was time to get back to normal.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

As Sam walked through the corridors of the SGC she was by far feeling the best that she had since before her abduction. It was so good to be out of her house and around other people. People were distracting, and these days distraction was something Sam craved.

She nodded at a passing Marine and then stopped in her tracks when she heard a very familiar voice call out from behind her.

"Carter!"

Sam turned around and smiled as she waited for Colonel O'Neill to catch up with her. "Good morning, sir," she greeted as he approached. It was good to see him. Really good.

He stopped in front of her and stuck his hands in the pockets of his BDUs. "So, back at work, huh? That's good."

Sam felt her smile widen. "Yes, sir. It is."

"And you look good," he commented.

"Thank you, sir. I feel good." And that wasn't a lie. Now that she was back at work, everything would be fine. She was sure of that.

"How's the arm?" He nodded at the one that had been slashed open with her abductor's knife.

Sam glanced down, even though the wound was hidden by her sleeve. "Getting better," she replied. "Actually, I'm just on my way to get checked out by Janet."

"Ah, well, I won't keep you then. Wouldn't want to upset the Doc."

Sam grinned. "No, sir."

The nearby elevator doors opened and as two Airmen stepped off, Jack stepped on. "I'll catch you later, Carter. Maybe for lunch?" He thought about that for a second. "Or dessert." The elevator doors started to close. "Jell-O?"

Sam was still grinning. "That sounds great, sir," she replied, just as the doors closed, cutting him off from view.

Starting on her way again, Sam was filled with a warm contentment. Yes, everything was going to be just fine.

Or so she thought.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

As the elevator doors closed fully and cut Carter off from view, all traces of cheerfulness faded quickly from Jack's face. It was good to see Carter looking stronger, looking like her old self again, it really was. But despite having her back safe and sound, Jack still found himself battling an array of tumultuous emotions.

It had been a close call this time. Way too close. And Jack hadn't yet recovered from the intense fear he'd felt during her disappearance. Not knowing if they would find her in time, not knowing if they would ever find her at all, had almost been too much for him. And on top of it all, Jack had felt so helpless, so useless.

But they had found her. And she was safe. But was she really doing as well as her outward appearance would have most people believe? Jack doubted it. How could she be after what she'd been through? After what that psychotic bastard had put her through.

As soon as she'd been strong enough, Carter had gone over the details of what had happened to her. From her abduction from her bedroom in the middle of the night to her escape into the forest, she'd carefully relayed every event she could remember. She'd struggled at some points, but for the most part she'd remained remarkably composed, although Jack knew that underneath there was no way she could feel that calm.

And he knew that everything she'd told them was really only just the beginning. He knew that she'd suffered far more than she was letting on. He knew because he'd seen the pictures that creep had taken of her.

Jack had to swallow back a sudden surge of anger. Every time he remembered those pictures, every time he saw the images in his head, Jack was filled with white hot fury. Rage. It made him wish Garrett was still alive just so he could put his hands around his throat and choke the life out of him. Slowly.

Realizing that his fists were clenched almost painfully at his sides, Jack forced himself to calm down. But even though his hands were relaxed at his sides by the time he stepped off the elevator, his jaw was still tense and his eyes were still dark with suppressed emotion.

_TBC…_


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed the first chapter! And to all my 'silent readers' as well!_

_Special thanks to all the fine people over at **As the Stargate Turns**__ for being supportive and fun and all those other wonderful things that you are. You guys are the best! _; )

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Chapter 2:

Having completed her examination of her patient and best friend, Dr. Janet Fraiser disposed of her gloves and picked up Sam's chart.

"Well, everything seems to be healing nicely," she informed Sam as she jotted down a few notes. "But you look a bit tired." She glanced up. "How do you feel?"

"Good," Sam replied, sitting on one of the infirmary beds as she laced up her boots. "I feel quite energized, actually. And glad to be back at work," she added earnestly. "I was going stir crazy at home."

Janet stopped writing and looked at her friend apologetically. "Sorry I wasn't able to come by more often to keep you company." She really did feel bad about that. She'd wanted to stop by more often, but work had kept getting in the way.

Sam shook her head. "Don't worry about it. I know you were busy." She finished tying her last lace and sat up. "So... are you going to clear me for going off-world soon?" she asked hopefully.

"Well, if you continue to heal at this rate and regain more of your strength... in the next few days probably."

"Great!" With a smile, Sam hopped down from the infirmary bed. "Are we done here?"

Janet couldn't help but smile, knowing how eager Sam was to return to her lab after so many days away. "Yes, we're done. You're free to go."

"Thanks, Janet."

As Sam turned to leave, Janet found herself suddenly needing to stop her. There was something she needed to ask her. "Sam?" Her friend stopped and looked back. "Other than physically, how are you doing?"

Janet thought she saw a shadow pass over Sam's eyes at her question. She thought she hesitated briefly before answering. But it could have been all in her imagination. It could have been, but she wasn't convinced that it was.

"I'm fine, Janet," Sam replied. "You don't need to worry."

She didn't? Again, Janet wasn't convinced. But she decided not to press the issue. "All right. But if you need to talk..." She trailed off, leaving the invitation hanging.

Sam flashed her a grateful smile. "I appreciate that, but I'm fine. Really." She turned again to go. "See you," she said over her shoulder, and then left the infirmary.

Janet stood watching her go, unable to stop herself from sighing slightly. She wasn't even sure that she herself was fine, having almost lost her best friend to a psychopathic killer, so how in the world could Sam possibly be fine?

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

General George Hammond was approximately halfway through reading a rather routine mission report when a light knock on his open office door interrupted him. But it wasn't an unwelcome interruption. In fact, when George looked up and saw who was standing in his doorway, a big smile automatically spread across his face.

"Major Carter, come on in," he greeted, gesturing to the empty chair on the other side of his desk. He was still grinning when she crossed the office and took the offered seat. "It's good to have you back with us, Major." And it really was.

She smiled back at him. "Thank you, sir."

"How are you doing?" George couldn't keep a note of paternal affection from sounding in his voice.

"Much better, sir. And eager to get back to work."

George smiled again. Of course she was. "I'm glad to hear it, Major." He picked up a file that was sitting on the corner of his desk. "I just received Dr. Fraiser's medical report. She thinks it's quite possible that she'll be able to clear you for active duty before the end of the week."

"That sounds great." She was practically beaming now.

"Of course, I'll have to wait for Dr. MacKenzie's report as well before any decision can be made."

George didn't fail to notice the effect his words had on Major Carter. Her smile faded quickly from her face and the excited light in her eyes flickered and went out.

"Dr. MacKenzie, sir?" Her voice sounded hollow.

"That's right, Major," George confirmed. "He's expecting you today at 1400 hours."

Major Carter seemed to struggle to find her voice for a brief moment. "Is that really necessary, sir?" she finally managed to ask.

"Absolutely," George replied. "This isn't optional, Major. I need an all-clear from Dr. MacKenzie before I can put you back on active duty."

She swallowed, reining in her emotions, and then nodded. "Yes, sir. 1400 hours." She paused. "Is there anything else, sir?"

George let his voice soften again. "No, Major, that's all for now. You're dismissed."

She stood and turned for the door.

"Major Carter?"

She paused in the doorway and turned back.

"Again, it's good to have you back," he told her sincerely.

She smiled, although more weakly than before. "Yes, sir. Thank you."

George nodded at her and she turned again and exited his office. Alone once more, George looked down at the medical report on his desk and sighed. He knew Major Carter wasn't exactly enthused about the obligatory appointment with Dr. MacKenzie, but that wasn't exactly unexpected. Her reaction was quite a common one whenever he ordered an officer to have a session with the base psychiatrist.

But even if it weren't required, George still would have thought it a good idea. Sure, as an officer in the U.S. Air Force and as a part of the Stargate program, Major Carter had dealt with many rough situations in the past. But that didn't mean that this most recent, nightmarish experience wouldn't have had a significant effect on her.

No, George decided, it would probably be a very good thing for her to talk to a professional like Dr. MacKenzie. Just in case she needed some help facing any remaining demons. It was George's sincere hope that she was healing as well psychologically as she was physically, but there was a part of him that wondered if that was really the case.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Although Sam was still happy to be back at the SGC, her brief talk with General Hammond had taken some of the wind out of her sails. Well, more than some, actually. Now her relief and excitement at being back was overshadowed by a growing knot in the pit of her stomach that was becoming increasingly difficult to ignore.

She spent some time tinkering around in her lab and getting back up to speed on some of the projects she'd been involved in before her abduction, but even that couldn't make her forget about what General Hammond had said. About what she was going to have to do later that day.

Lunchtime, at least, provided Sam with a brief respite from her increasing anxiety. Colonel O'Neill arrived at her lab and insisted that she leave her doohickeys alone long enough to join him in the commissary for a bite to eat. And for once, she really didn't need all that much encouragement to do so. She'd actually been looking forward to meeting him for lunch and was even more pleased when Daniel and Teal'c showed up to join them.

Sam wasn't all that interested in her food, but instead drank in the feelings of companionship and contentment that came from spending casual time with her teammates. Honestly, she didn't know how she would have made it through the past week without them. Thoughts of them had sustained her during her darkest moments while being held captive, and even after she was free from her abductor, the times when they'd shown up at her house with pizzas and movies were the times when she felt she'd done the most recovering.

Just having them around, having them near, filled Sam with such an immense feeling of peace and security. And those were two things she'd been in desperate need of lately.

Unfortunately, their somewhat impromptu team lunch didn't last nearly as long as Sam would have liked. Before she had even managed to work her way through half of her meal, Daniel was dragging a rather reluctant Colonel O'Neill off to see General Hammond. Apparently, Daniel wanted the Colonel to help convince the General to allow SG-1 to return to a planet they'd visited a couple of weeks earlier. Something about studying the ruined city in more detail. Or, as Colonel O'Neill had put it, more of Daniel playing with rocks while he tried not to die of boredom.

Sam smiled at their familiar bantering as the two men left the commissary, but even as they disappeared from sight, she could feel the knot in her stomach making itself known to her again. And as her anxiety began to increase once more, all traces of her smile faded from her face.

The day just wasn't going as easily as she had expected. But if she could just get through the afternoon, then surely things would get better. She just needed to make it through a few more hours.

"Major Carter."

Sam blinked at the sound of Teal'c's voice, realizing that her mind had been drifting miles away from the commissary.

"Is the food not to your liking?" Teal'c inquired.

Sam glanced down at the macaroni and cheese she'd been pushing around on her plate for the past several minutes. "It never really is," she replied, only half joking. She cracked a slight, wry smile. "Except maybe for the Jell-O." When Teal'c's expression remained serious, Sam set down her fork and sighed, her smile disappearing once again. "I guess I'm just not hungry today, Teal'c."

"Something weighs upon your mind, does it not?"

"No," Sam replied automatically, but as she met the Jaffa's steady, knowing gaze, she corrected herself. "Well, yes, I guess so."

Teal'c waited.

"It's just... I have an appointment with Dr. MacKenzie this afternoon. And I guess I'm sort of dreading it."

"For what reason? Do you believe he will give you a negative report?"

"No, not exactly." Sam had to think for a moment. What _was _it that she was worried about? "I guess I just don't really want to go over everything again." That made sense, didn't it? "I don't want to keep dwelling on what happened. I just want to move on."

"Perhaps talking with Dr. MacKenzie will help you to do just that," Teal'c suggested.

"I doubt it," Sam said skeptically. "Except for the fact that I have to get it over with in order to be allowed to go off world again." She glanced at her watch and pushed back her chair. "I'd better get going so I'm not late."

"Do you wish me to accompany you to the hospital?" Teal'c offered as she got to her feet.

Sam smiled gratefully. "That's really not necessary, Teal'c. But thanks."

Teal'c bowed his head slightly in acknowledgment and Sam gave his arm a quick, affectionate squeeze before heading out of the commissary and on her way to get the dreaded appointment over with.

Remaining at the table, Teal'c was left by himself to ponder silent thoughts.

_TBC…_


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Thanks again for all the reviews! I love receiving them!_

_**Janissima** -- I wanted to say thank you for telling me not to leave Teal'c out of the sequel when you reviewed the last chapter of Chosen. Because if you hadn't said that, I might have left him out altogether! I'm really just most comfortable writing Jack and Sam, but I know Teal'c and others really ought to be in there so I've done my best to expand my horizons a bit and add some other pov's in this story. Although I'm still focusing on Sam and Jack._

_After reading all the reviews, I feel I should warn everyone that I'm not actually going to include Sam's session with Dr. MacKenzie. I have my reasons! One being that I know absolutely nothing about psychiatry and I'm sure if I did try to write the scene it would come out like something from a really bad movie. Anyhow, I hope you can still enjoy this chapter...

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Chapter 3:

Okay, it was official. Sam was having trouble concentrating. She and Daniel were working on the device that had been retrieved from P7X 165, trying to figure out how it worked and what it was for, but they weren't getting very far. At least, Sam sure wasn't. At the moment, Daniel had his nose buried in his notes and seemed to be in a world of his own.

Sam had survived her session with Dr. MacKenzie, but it hadn't been pleasant. Far from it. She'd been able to handle talking to the police the week before, she'd even handled relaying the details of her experience to Janet, General Hammond, and Colonel O'Neill during her last day in the infirmary. But this had been different.

Dr. MacKenzie had tried to delve deeper than just the basic facts of what had occurred. In Sam's mind, he had pried. Pried at places she really didn't want him to have access to. But she'd made it through. It was over, but the session had left her feeling both emotionally and physically drained. And now she just couldn't focus.

Sighing in frustration, Sam pushed the device away from her. "Daniel, I'm not getting anywhere with this."

Daniel looked up at her and blinked. "Oh. Sorry, Sam. I guess I'm not being much help." He put down his notebook and reached for a pile of files and papers that he'd brought along from his office to her lab. "Maybe the writings from the temple wall will give us a clue." He began rummaging through the stack of papers. "I'm sure I've got the photographs here somewhere."

Sam's hand froze on the surface of her worktable.

Photographs.

Camera.

Flash. Flash. Fear.

She was back in her cold, cement prison. Tied up and helpless as Marvin Garrett snapped picture after relentless picture. The camera flash was blinding her, her terror choking her, suffocating her...

"Sam!"

Sam came crashing back to the present, gasping for breath and shaking from head to toe. Daniel had a hand on her arm and was looking extremely worried and alarmed.

"Sam, what's wrong? Should I call Janet?"

Sam grabbed his wrist to keep him from going for the phone. "No," she said quickly, still trying to catch her breath. "Don't call anyone."

Daniel gently pried her hand from his wrist and then held it in his own. "Okay," he said soothingly. "I won't."

Sam took a few deep breaths and felt herself begin to calm down. Slightly, anyhow. She was actually feeling rather ill. She realized that there was a single tear running down her cheek and brushed it away roughly with her free hand.

"What just happened?" Daniel asked quietly.

"Nothing. I'm fine."

"Sam, that wasn't nothing. You were shaking like a leaf and didn't even hear me call your name the first two times."

"I'm fine, Daniel," she repeated, more forcefully this time.

"No, you're not." He wasn't giving up. "It was Garrett, wasn't it? You were back there with him."

Sam pulled her hand out of Daniel's gentle grasp and turned away slightly. She couldn't do this. "Daniel, don't."

"Sam, ignoring it isn't going to make it any better."

She closed her eyes briefly, trying desperately to hold herself together. "There's nothing to ignore." God, she really couldn't do this. Didn't he understand? If he didn't drop this she was going to fall to pieces. And if she did that, she really didn't know where she would be. She didn't think she'd be able to put herself back together again.

She glanced over at Daniel and knew she couldn't fool him. But still, she just couldn't handle this right now. Maybe not ever. "Let's just get back to work, okay?" He was still looking at her with discerning eyes, so she tried again, almost pleading now. "Please, Daniel."

He must have caught the note of desperation in her voice or noticed something in her eyes, because he sat back and nodded once. "Okay," he said quietly.

He turned back to his papers and a heavy silence fell over Sam's lab. She felt bad, knowing that Daniel was just trying to help, but she couldn't dwell on things. She just needed to forget and move on. Just forget.

Unfortunately, after her display in front of Daniel, Sam had a bad feeling that she was going to have a hard time convincing everyone else that that's what she needed.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

As much as she loved Daniel, Sam was really rather glad when he finally left her lab later that evening. His furtive, worried glances in her direction had been starting to wear on her already frazzled nerves and she was afraid she might end up snapping at him if he kept it up for much longer. And that was something she really didn't want to do.

Now she was alone in her dimly lit lab and despite the late hour, she was struggling to go on working. But with the words on the screen of her laptop blearing before her tired, stinging eyes, she wasn't sure how much longer she'd be able to continue. It wasn't as if she was actually getting any real work done, it was more that she was avoiding stopping for the night. Because that would mean she should go to sleep. And that was something she didn't want to deal with.

She had already decided not to go home for the night. Remaining on base seemed a far more attractive option after being cooped up at home for so many days. At least, that's what Sam told herself. But deep down, she just didn't want to go home. She felt safer at the base, more in control. The memories and nightmares she was so desperate to leave behind seemed somehow less threatening at the base than they did at home. Despite her earlier episode with Daniel.

That was just a minor setback, Sam had convinced herself. A result of Dr. MacKenzie poking at almost-healed wounds earlier in the day. She would do better the next day. But for the moment, she still wasn't looking forward to sleeping. So she pressed on, trying to ignore the increasing weight of her eyelids, trying to keep her head held up no matter how much it seemed to want to drift down toward her desk. Her screen bleared even more noticeably, but still she tried...

"Sam?"

She nearly jumped right out of her chair at the sound of someone speaking her name, and at the touch of a hand on her shoulder. Her eyes shot open and her head jerked up off her folded arms. She was completely disoriented.

"Sam, it's okay. It's just me."

Sam blinked. What? Oh.

Janet.

She ran a hand through her hair as her brain finally started functioning again. "Sorry, Janet. I guess I drifted off there for a bit."

"So I see."

Sam checked her watch and was surprised to see that nearly an hour had passed since she'd last looked at the time. Nearly an hour of sleep and no nightmares. Well, that was something. Even if she did have a major crick in her neck now. She began massaging the offending part of her body.

"Sam, are you all right?" The doctor's hand was still resting on her shoulder.

"Just a stiff neck."

"That's not what I meant."

Okay, so Sam had kind of known that already. She stopped massaging her neck and made eye contact with her friend. "I'm fine, Janet."

"So you said this morning, but I don't think you are. Look at you -- you're exhausted and Daniel said you were upset earlier."

"Daniel said that?" Sam felt a flicker of panic as she wondered what else Daniel had said. But she quickly pushed both the thought and the panic away and rubbed a hand over her eyes. "I just need a good night's sleep, that's all."

"Well, I won't argue with you there," Janet agreed. "But are you sure there's not something else going on here? Something to do with your recent experience?"

"Positive." And she was, wasn't she?

"Okay. But my offer still stands if you decide you need to talk to someone."

"I know."

Janet made her way to the door before pausing to look back. "No more working tonight, okay? Make sure you get some sleep."

Sam flashed her a cheeky grin. "Yes, Doctor."

Janet shot her a stern look, but the corner of her mouth was lifting upward in a slight smile. "Goodnight, Sam."

"Night, Janet."

Sam watched as her friend exited the lab and disappeared from sight. Then she turned back to her computer with a sigh. Time to shut it down. Time to get some rest.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

She was tied up, wrists and ankles bound tightly. She was trapped. Helpless. She struggled to break free, but her bonds wouldn't give.

Suddenly, she felt a presence nearby. Cold. Frightening. She couldn't see him, but she knew he was there. She knew he was drawing closer.

Fear rose up in her throat, nearly choking her. She tried to scream through her taped mouth, but no sound came out. She tried to get away, but her bonds hindered her and she fell over. And kept falling.

Falling...

Falling...

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Sam jolted awake, momentarily disoriented in her brightly lit base quarters. Closing her eyes again, she took several deep breaths in an effort to calm herself.

_Safe_, she told herself. _You're safe._

Sitting up, she drew her knees to her chest and hugged them tightly. This wasn't supposed to happen anymore. Not when she was sleeping on base, not when things were supposed to be getting back to normal.

Disappointed and shaken, Sam closed her eyes tightly.

God, when was this going to end?

_TBC…_


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Yikes! The whole site was going totally nuts when I tried to post last time, but it seems to be working now... hopefully!_

_Thanks to everyone who has reviewed this story so far!_

_And, yep, there's more Jack coming right up. And plenty more in the chapters to come! _:-)

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Chapter 4:

Jack sat at his desk, a file open before him. But not just any file -- _the_ file. The one containing all the information on Carter's abduction. And her abductor.

One by one, Jack slowly went through the photographs, just as he had done so many times over the past week. But no matter how many times he saw them, the sight of them still made him sick. And furious. In every shot, there was Carter, tied up and helpless. And terrified. The fear and horror in her eyes shook Jack to the depth of his soul. And yet, he kept looking.

He kept going through every scrap of information contained in the file, as if he were searching for some sort of answer, for some sort of sense in the midst of a senseless mess. Unfortunately, that wasn't something he was likely to find.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Daniel was just about to walk in through Jack's open office door when he stopped himself, realizing what his friend was doing. "Jack?"

At the sound of his voice, Jack quickly swept the photographs and papers into a file folder and out of sight, but Daniel already knew full well what he'd been up to. His eyebrows drawing slightly together in concern, he moved further into the office. "What good is that doing you?" he asked, his eyes moving from the file folder to the man sitting behind the desk.

Jack pushed the file folder aside. "What good is what doing me?"

"I think you know what I mean," Daniel said, knowing full well that he was right.

But still pretending to be clueless, Jack sat back in his chair. "Enlighten me."

Daniel crossed his arms and fixed his gaze on Jack. "All right." If that's the way Jack wanted to go about things, he was willing to play along. "I was referring to going over and over the details of Sam's abduction, torturing yourself by wondering if there was anything you could have done to prevent it, or to have found her sooner, or whatever other number of things are going through your head."

Jack looked ready to roll his eyes. "Daniel --"

"Come on, Jack," Daniel cut him off. "We both know that's what you're doing. And we both know it's not the first time. But beating yourself up over something that wasn't your fault isn't going to help anyone. Especially not Sam." He paused, but Jack wasn't meeting his eyes. "You did everything you could, Jack. And she's safe now. There's no point --"

"Daniel!"

This time, Daniel decided to stop and let him have his say. For the moment, anyhow.

Jack's voice was low, almost dangerously so. "Seven women, Daniel. Seven women that man abducted and killed over the past sixteen years. And why? To fulfill some psychotic notion that he was saving their souls?"

"Jack, we'll probably never really understand his motivations --"

"Well, I understand enough," Jack cut in angrily. "I understand that some sick bastard got his hands on Carter, and I understand that it was his full intention to kill her."

"Yes," Daniel agreed, his patience unfaltering. He knew where Jack was coming from, knew why he was reacting like this. Yet, there were things he needed to hear. "But he didn't kill her, Jack. She's alive and back here with us. And instead of focusing on Garrett and all the harm he caused while he was alive, don't you think we should be focusing on Sam?"

"You don't think I am?"

"I think you probably are," Daniel said carefully. "But maybe not in the right way."

Jack got abruptly to his feet. "Daniel, let's talk about something else."

It was a warning, not a suggestion. But Daniel wasn't completely done here. Not yet. "Okay, fine," he conceded. "But there's something I need to tell you first. It's important," he added quickly as he saw Jack was about to cut in again.

Daniel was on the receiving end of a dark glare for a moment, but then Jack sank back down into his chair in resignation. "Don't keep me in suspense," he said dryly.

"Yesterday afternoon while Sam and I were working in her lab, she had some sort of flashback," Daniel explained.

"Flashback?" Jack raised his eyebrows.

"I'm not sure what else to call it," Daniel said. "She just started shaking all over and was totally out of it for a moment. She looked scared out of her wits... hell, she had me scared half out of my wits just watching her." He paused for a moment, letting the brief silence add emphasis to his next words. "It was bad, Jack."

"Why didn't you tell me this yesterday?" Jack asked sharply, clearly unsettled even though he was trying to mask his emotions.

"By the time I left her lab you had already gone home for the night," Daniel explained calmly, unfazed by Jack's tone.

"Have you heard of a telephone?"

Again, Daniel didn't even flinch. He knew why Jack was lashing out. He knew why, because he knew Jack. "The point is, I'm telling you now. And I think you should talk to her."

Daniel waited, knowing Jack was fighting to keep himself under some semblance of control. It took a few seconds, but eventually he did reply.

"Well, I can't talk to her right now."

"Oka-ay," Daniel said slowly. "Why not?"

"Because," Jack explained, "she's on her way to see General Hammond at the moment." He sighed slightly. "And I don't think she's going to like what he has to tell her."

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

"_Stress leave_?"

Sam was stunned. Flabbergasted. She wanted to think she hadn't heard General Hammond properly but, unfortunately, she knew that she had.

"But I'm fine, sir." How many times did she have to say it?

"Major, you've been through a traumatic experience," General Hammond said kindly. "You need to take some time to let yourself recover."

"With respect, sir, that's what I did all last week." _And nearly died of boredom in the process_, she added silently. "I thought my recovery was going well."

"Physically, yes," Hammond agreed. "But Dr. MacKenzie feels that you're not ready to return to active duty, and I can't say that I disagree with him."

Sam closed her eyes briefly, forcing herself to remain calm. This couldn't be happening. She needed to get back to work. It was the best thing for her. Why didn't anyone understand that?

"Major, I know you don't believe this is necessary, but the matter is not up for debate. As of now, you're on a week's stress leave, after which time you are to report back to Dr. MacKenzie for re-evaluation."

Another whole week? Sam couldn't even bear to think about it.

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that you're more than welcome to make an appointment to go and see him anytime during the upcoming week as well."

Yeah, sure. Like that was going to happen. Look what the first session had done for her.

"Major."

Sam met General Hammond's gaze.

"When I say stress leave I mean staying off base. You need this time for yourself." He looked at her carefully. "Is that understood?"

"Yes, sir," she responded dutifully. But she wasn't happy about it. Not at all. But she knew there was nothing she could do about it.

As soon as she was dismissed, she left the General's office and headed straight for her lab to collect her things. What in the world was happening? She had been so sure just the day before that returning to work was going to make everything better. But somehow, everything just seemed to keep getting worse and worse. And it was getting to the point where Sam really didn't know how much more she could take.

_TBC…_


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: Thanks to everyone who's still with me! Please R&R!

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Chapter 5:

Teal'c was concerned for Major Carter. He cared for her deeply and disliked seeing her suffer in any way. And she was suffering, of that Teal'c was certain. He had sensed her anxiety regarding her appointment with Dr. MacKenzie long before she had confessed to it, and he strongly believed that her troubles went far deeper than that. And for that reason, Teal'c felt it would be wise to keep a close eye on her.

Knowing that it would be the most likely place to find Major Carter, Teal'c approached her lab. And sure enough, she was there when he arrived. But as he paused in the doorway, Teal'c was rather puzzled. It was still only late in the morning and yet Major Carter was dressed in civilian clothing and was hastily gathering some of her belongings together in her bag.

"Major Carter." He brought her attention to his presence, noting that she was distracted enough to not have sensed his arrival.

She looked up briefly. "Teal'c. Hi." She went back to what she was doing and Teal'c watched as she moved about her lab.

He stepped further into the room and stood there, his hands clasped behind his back. "Are you already preparing to leave the base for the day?" he inquired.

She was packing her laptop computer into her bag now. "Ah, for the week, actually." She glanced up at him again. "I guess you haven't heard."

Teal'c cocked his head slightly, one eyebrow raised.

Major Carter sighed, leaving her packing for the moment. "General Hammond's put me on stress leave. I'm not allowed back on base for at least a week."

"I see," Teal'c said. He was not surprised that she appeared most unhappy with this information. "And you are displeased by this."

She sighed again. "Yes," she admitted. "I just want to get back to work, Teal'c. Back to normal. But it seems like no one else wants me to do that."

"On the contrary, Major Carter, everyone wishes to see you well and working again as usual," Teal'c assured her.

She looked away for a moment, as if gathering her thoughts. "I know everybody means well, but I just..."

Once again, she averted her gaze, and Teal'c knew she was struggling to keep her composure, struggling to keep threatening tears at bay.

She took a deep breath and picked up her bag, slinging the strap over her shoulder. "I'm sorry, Teal'c. I can't talk about this right now."

Teal'c bowed his head slightly. "As you wish." He stepped aside so she could get to the door, and with one last glance in his direction, she moved past him and out into the corridor.

Teal'c remained where he was for a moment, feeling troubled. Then he, too, left the lab, going in search of Colonel O'Neill and Daniel Jackson.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Seated at a table with Jack, Daniel looked up as Teal'c made his way across the commissary to join them.

"Hey, Teal'c," Daniel greeted as the Jaffa sat down beside him.

"What's up, T?" Jack asked, nodding at the tray-less tabletop in front of his friend. "Not hungry?"

"Not at the moment," Teal'c replied, folding his hands on the table. "I have a pressing matter to discuss with you, O'Neill."

Daniel put down the forkful of food he was about to put in his mouth. "Does it have something to do with Sam?" he guessed.

"Indeed," Teal'c confirmed. "I have just come from speaking with Major Carter, and I believe her to be in great distress."

Daniel felt his concern for Sam begin to grow again.

"Is she upset about Hammond putting her on stress leave?" Jack asked, seemingly not overly worried.

Teal'c gave a single nod. "That and other matters relating to her abduction."

Daniel gave Jack a pointed look, thinking back to their earlier conversation. He really did think that Jack was the one who needed to talk to her. And soon.

Aware of Daniel's eyes on him, Jack sent a dark glare his direction. "Daniel, we've been over this. I'll take care of it."

"When?" Daniel pressed, unwilling to let the subject drop so easily.

Jack let his fork drop to his plate with a clatter, clearly exasperated. "Tonight, Daniel. Now would you give it a rest?" Eyes still dark with annoyance, he got to his feet. "I've got things to do."

And without another word, Jack practically stormed out of the commissary, Daniel watching him go with raised eyebrows.

"You know, Teal'c," Daniel said, his eyes still on the now-empty doorway, "I don't think Sam's the only one having trouble dealing with things."

"I am in agreement with you, Daniel Jackson."

Daniel shifted his gaze back to his Jaffa friend. "But I'm not too sure what we can do about it. You know Jack -- he's not one for talking about his feelings."

"Indeed," Teal'c agreed. "But I am of the belief that Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter will be best helped by each other. And it is also my belief that, in time, they will do just that."

"Well, I hope you're right," Daniel said. "Because I'm getting really worried about the both of them."

"As am I."

And alone at the table now, the two men lapsed into silence.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

By early evening Jack was dressed in his civvies and ready to leave the base, but he had no intention of heading home. Not yet. First, he was going to check on Carter.

The tension in Jack's body hadn't eased one bit all day. In fact, it had increased steadily with each passing hour. Except for the times when Daniel and Teal'c had brought him reports on how Carter was doing. At those times, the tension in his muscles had increased by leaps and bounds.

As he drove his truck off the base, Jack repeated to himself what Daniel had told him that morning. And as he did so, his hands tightened their grip on the steering wheel.

Flashbacks. Carter was having flashbacks. And Jack would bet anything that she was having nightmares too.

Why hadn't she said anything? Okay, stupid question. It's not like he would have said anything if it were him. But still... he wished that she'd been able to tell him. Not that he hadn't guessed, it's just that he had hoped... hoped she still wasn't suffering like that. She'd already been through so much, and Jack just wanted it to be over for her. Over and done with. But obviously it wasn't going to be that easy.

No, nothing about this was easy. If it were, Jack would've already taken care of things and Carter would already be back to her usual self. But it wasn't that easy. Not at all. And the most frustrating thing of all to Jack was how careful he was always having to be.

Of course he cared for Carter, and it was at times like this that he wanted her to know that. It was at times like this that she_ needed _to know that. But that wasn't the problem. Not exactly. The problem was _how much _he cared for her. And that was a problem for a whole slew of reasons, one being that it was dangerous to let himself feel those feelings, to let himself act on them even in the smallest of ways.

But right now, Carter needed him. That much Jack knew. And some way, somehow, he was going to be there for her. He wasn't going to leave her to suffer any longer. No way.

And so, with a strong feeling of determination settling over him, Jack headed his truck in the direction of Carter's house.

He'd told Daniel he'd take care of it. And he would.

_TBC…_


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: Okay, I'm posting this chapter a day earlier than I'd planned to because I'm feeling kind of unmotivated about my writing today... and I'm always hoping that posting will give me a fresh dose of motivation. Not sure if that will really happen or not, but it's worth a try!_

_Anyhow, don't worry... I'm not about to leave this story unfinished or anything. And for anyone who's wondering if I might have forgotten my promise of J/S comfort, that's definitely not the case. It's coming soon! Promise!_

_Oh, and reviews are a great form of motivation, so please do send me one! ;-) Plus, they make me happy... and that can't be a bad thing, right? lol__  
_

_Many thanks to everyone who has reviewed past chapters! You guys are great!_

_And now, on with the story...

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Chapter 6:

Partly to work out some of her frustration and partly to keep herself busy, Sam decided to clean her house. For most of the afternoon she vacuumed and dusted, washed and scrubbed, until she finally gave up, exhausted. She flopped out on the couch for a while, allowing herself to rest but not to the point of falling asleep.

What in the world was she going to do for another whole week? She had to find some way to keep herself busy, some way to keep her mind occupied so there wouldn't be time for unpleasant thoughts.

What she needed was a distraction. And preferably one that would last for several days.

Struck with an idea, Sam sat up and grabbed the phone. A visit to Mark and the kids. That would be perfect. She hadn't seen them in ages and getting away from home for a while seemed like a very attractive option to Sam. So she dialed her brother's number, her mood improving even as she waited for someone to pick up on the other end. It was a great idea. A great solution.

Unfortunately, that opinion didn't last long. In less than ten minutes, Sam had hung up the phone and flopped back out on the couch, deflated. It turned out that both kids were sick with a particularly nasty stomach bug at the moment and Mark didn't foresee them recovering for several days. And while catching the stomach flu might very well qualify as distracting, it wasn't quite what Sam had in mind.

So... back to square one.

Not wanting to spend any more time lying around doing nothing, even if she was exhausted, Sam forced herself to get up off the couch. She considered going for a run, but there was still one sore spot on her left foot and she decided that she should probably give it another day or two to heal before submitting it to the stress and impact it would receive during a run. But a walk, on the other hand, she was sure she could handle.

So grabbing her keys and a light jacket, Sam went out her front door and crossed the street to the park. She walked for nearly an hour before turning toward home. The fresh air felt good. Really good. And it even helped to clear her mind a bit. In fact, she was feeling the best that she had the whole day.

Until she passed the playground.

The scene was innocent enough -- two young mothers watching their toddlers as they played together in the grass. Nothing unusual about it at all. But Sam felt her heart rate increase at the sight, and all because one of the mothers was holding a camera, taking pictures of the kids as they laughed and played.

Sam picked up her pace, trying to remain calm even though she was desperate to get away.

_Just don't have another flashback_, Sam told herself. _Not here. Not now._

Luckily, it didn't seem like that was going to happen. But she still felt panicky. And angry. Angry at herself for overreacting so extremely to such a normal and unthreatening thing.

So much for feeling good.

She fought off the urge to run, instead just walking briskly until she reached home. She quickly unlocked the front door and as soon as she was inside, she shut it behind her and leaned against it.

What the hell was happening to her? Wasn't she ever going to get over this? Wasn't she ever going to get back to normal?

Just the other day she had been so sure that she was going to be fine in no time. But she suddenly felt like she didn't know anything anymore. And she suddenly felt very, very alone.

Sinking down to sit on the floor, Sam closed her eyes. She was filled with the urge to call Colonel O'Neill, but what was she supposed to say?

_"Ah, sorry for bothering you, sir, but I was feeling lonely... not to mention I'm a total basket case."_

_Yeah, right. I don't think so._

She sighed.

_Pull yourself together, Sam._

She rubbed her hands roughly down her face and pushed herself to her feet.

_You just need to pull yourself together._

She went into the bathroom and stood over the sink, turning on the tap and letting the water run cold. Then she cupped her hands and splashed her face with the icy water. As she shut off the water and grabbed a towel, a knock at her front door made her jump. She quickly wiped the remaining water from her face, silently cursing her racing heart, and started for the door.

As she made her way down the front hall, she heard Colonel O'Neill's familiar voice calling from the front porch.

"Carter?"

She hesitated, suddenly filled with an odd mixture of relief and apprehension. She wanted him here, didn't she? It had only been a few minutes ago that she'd been tempted to call him, after all. But at the same time, now that he was here, she didn't want to face him. She was just barely keeping herself together at the moment and more than anything, she didn't want to fall apart in front of him.

He knocked again.

Shaking off her hesitation, Sam moved forward and turned the lock.

She opened the door and there he was, standing on her front porch with his hands in his pockets, looking completely at ease. Again, Sam felt a confused rush of relief and anxiety, but she tried her best to push the feelings aside.

"Sir? What are you doing here?"

"Well, you know, I was in the neighbourhood..." He gestured vaguely toward the street. "And I just thought I'd… drop by."

Sure, just in the neighbourhood. Sam wasn't buying that for a second.

"The answer is I'm fine and I don't want to talk about it," she stated flatly, deciding to get right to the real reason he was there.

He looked puzzled. "Did I ask a question?"

"You didn't have to."

"Ah." He gave her another confused look.

There was a pause and then Colonel O'Neill tried to look past her into the house. "Got a hot date in there, Carter?"

She glared at him. "No."

"Then can I come in?"

Sam didn't move, nor did she answer. She was still wrestling with conflicting emotions.

The Colonel raised his eyebrows at her silence. "What if I promise not to bring up The Subject?" He put an emphasis on the last two words, making it clear what he was referring to.

Again, Sam didn't say anything. She had a sneaking suspicion that he might be trying to trick her in some way, but at the same time she really didn't want to be on her own any longer. Having some company around would be good. His company would be good.

Finally making up her mind, she stood back and opened the door fully.

Colonel O'Neill grinned at the gesture. "Sweet."

And with that, he stepped inside.

_TBC…_


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: Okay, I think we're getting close to the end here. Maybe another chapter or two... we'll see. Sorry this one is a bit short again. And, unfortunately, I'm having major issues with chapter 8 so there might be a bit of a wait for that one. But I promise to try my best not to make the wait too long! Special thanks to MaggieEaton for checking this chapter over for me. _

_**megmeyer: **hey, now you've got me curious! Will you let me know at the end if what you think might happen does or not?_

_**janissima:** thanks! And that's kinda where I'm heading with this... I think. _; )

_And as for Jack's promise... don't worry, he knows what he's doing! _; )

_Thanks again for all the reviews... I appreciate every single one of them! Please R&R this chapter too!

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Chapter 7:

Stage one of Jack's mission was now complete. That part had been achieved by getting Carter to allow him into her house. But he knew he still had a lot of work ahead of him. He had a lot of walls to break through, but he wasn't going to leave until he got through them all. He wasn't going to leave until she admitted to how she was really doing, to him and to herself.

And as he followed Carter from the entrance hall into the living room, Jack knew that she really wasn't doing well at all. He knew that just by looking at her now. The smile and all traces of cheerfulness that she'd shown on Monday morning were gone now, and Jack hadn't failed to notice the dark rings under her eyes.

He felt a multitude of different emotions battling within him as he thought about how much she was still suffering, but he forced himself to push all those thoughts and feelings aside for the time being. At the moment, Carter needed his help. And whether or not she wanted it, she was going to get it. So, remaining calm and casual, Jack removed his jacket and took a seat on the couch.

He watched as Carter sat down at the opposite end of the couch, about as far away from him as she could get on the same piece of furniture. And he noted that she looked tense. Very tense.

And quiet.

Nope, she really didn't seem to be in the mood for making conversation. So Jack guessed that meant it was up to him.

He gestured generally at the living area around them. "I like what you've done with the place," he commented with approval, effectively breaking what had been a growing silence.

Carter gave him a look. "Sir, it looks exactly the same as the last time you were here."

"Yes," he agreed. "And I liked it then, too."

She rolled her eyes and then fixed them on a random spot on the far wall.

Yep, she was definitely tense. And _way _more than normal.

Leaning back comfortably, Jack rested one arm along the back of the couch. "So," he started again. "This is... relaxing."

Carter let out a loud sigh and turned to look at him. "Sir, this really isn't necessary."

Jack held up a finger. "Ah, but I disagree, Carter. Relaxation is the key to a healthy lifestyle."

She was clearly struggling not to lose her patience now. "You know what I'm talking about."

"I thought I did."

He gave her his best Confused Colonel look and he was sure that he almost had her smiling there for a second. But that only seemed to annoy her even more and she got to her feet, exasperated.

"Sir, I'm fine! How many times do I have to say it?"

Jack was completely unruffled by her outburst. "Well, you know what they say -- its quality, not quantity."

She stared at him.

"What I mean is, I didn't believe you the first time." He thought about that for a moment. "Or the second time. Or the third time..." He noticed her darkening look and quickly clarified, "If I could believe it when you say it, you'd only have to say it once."

All he got in response was a glare so he decided it was time to change tactics slightly.

"Look, Carter, as long as you're in denial about there being something wrong, it'll just keep eating away at you."

"I'm not in denial!" she protested.

Jack raised his eyebrows. "You're not?"

"No!"

"Oh."

There was a pause and then Jack went on as if they'd just been having a friendly chat about the weather. "So, how've ya been sleeping lately?"

She closed her eyes briefly, clearly struggling to keep her voice even. "Sir, I thought you promised we weren't going to talk about this."

"Ah, but I didn't," Jack corrected her. "If you recall, I promised I wouldn't bring up the subject. And I didn't. You did."

Okay, she was really angry now, and Jack knew he was getting close.

"What is it you want me to say, sir? That I'm falling to pieces? That I'm terrified out of my mind? That I can't stop looking over my shoulder for fear that someone's going to grab me?"

_Here we go._ Jack got to his feet. "Carter..."

She was practically shaking with anger now. "I'm a Major in the United States Air Force and I can't even go to sleep without the damn light on!"

Silence fell heavily upon the room as they stood staring at each other, Carter breathing rapidly after her outburst. Then, seeming to realize her admission, she abruptly turned away, roughly brushing away an escaped tear.

"Carter." Jack's voice nearly broke with emotion. His heart aching, he took a step toward her.

She moved away without looking at him. "Please don't, sir." Her voice was quiet now. She wrapped her arms around herself in a protective hug. A defensive hug. And still, she kept her back to him.

Even though he didn't think it was possible, the pain in Jack's heart increased. "Carter," he spoke softly. "Don't do this. Don't cut yourself off from the people that care about you. Trust me, it'll just make things worse."

"Worse?" The word of disbelief came out as a sob, and she shut her eyes tightly, still fighting for control.

Jack started toward her again and although she kept her arms tightly around herself, she didn't move away this time. He approached slowly and when he was standing in front of her, he reached out and tentatively touched her shoulder.

At the gentle contact, her body shook with another escaped sob and tears began coursing down her face from her still-shut eyes.

"Come on, Carter," he coaxed in barely more than whisper. "C'mere." And he slipped his arms around her, pulling her into a protective embrace, just as he'd been longing to do since he'd found her in the forest. Just as he'd been needing to do.

She didn't resist, but she didn't unwrap her arms from herself either. She stood stiffly in his arms, her face hidden in his shoulder.

"Sir..." she choked desperately through her tears.

"No, Sam," Jack said firmly. "You don't have to be strong right now. Just let it out. You need to let it out."

She shook her head against his shoulder. "I can't."

The anguish in her voice struck Jack deeply, and he automatically tightened his embrace slightly. "You've got too."

She shook her head again, still struggling, still not giving in.

"Sam..."

"I'll fall."

Her words were so quiet and muffled by her tears and his shirt, that Jack nearly missed them. He was perfectly still for a moment, not sure he understood. But then she was speaking again.

"I'll start falling and I won't be able to stop."

Maybe he did understand now.

She was scared, scared to let go.

His heart aching more than ever, Jack rested his chin on the top her head and closed his eyes. "It's okay," he said quietly. God, he really wanted her to know that.

When she started to shake her head again, Jack stilled the motion with a gentle hand. "Yes, it is," he assured her. He moved his mouth closer to her ear and spoke softly. "Because I'm here to catch you."

There was a single second of silence, a brief moment where Sam was completely still and quiet in his arms. Then his words seemed to sink in and finally, _finally _all her walls came crashing down.

_TBC…_


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: Phew! I've finally got chapter 8 ready. Sorry for the delay... it took me forever to write this one! But at least it's longer than previous chapters! Anyhow, this is the last full chapter. However, there is a short (very short!) epilogue which I will post as soon as it's edited._

_Special thanks to Maggie for helping me through the frustrating time I had writing this chapter, and to Lilly for that valuable piece of advice that made me realize what it was that was giving me so much trouble. Hugs to both of you!_

_Thanks again for all the reviews! Please R&R this chap as well!

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Chapter 8:

When Colonel O'Neill whispered those words into her ear, Sam felt something give way inside of her, like something actually shifted deep down in the very centre of her being. There was a split second's delay, but then it happened, and all the emotions she'd been trying to hide away for more than a week came flooding to the surface in one great rush. Everything came pouring out of her -- fear, anger, shame, despair -- all mixed together in an overpowering, overwhelming surge of emotion.

Overcome, Sam practically collapsed into Jack's arms, but he was true to his word both literally and figuratively and held on to her tightly as sob after sob shook her entire body. Her own arms finally went around him and she held on to him for dear life, not wanting to let go, not able to let go. And as she cried and cried into his shoulder, Sam was aware of Jack's face buried in her neck as he rocked her gently back and forth. He was her anchor, holding her there, keeping her from slipping away into the dark chasm of despair that had threatened to swallow her up for days now.

And as she released all her pent-up feelings through her tears, Sam felt a great weight begin to lift off her shoulders. A weight she hadn't even fully realized was there. But now that she was aware of the burden, it felt so good to release it. It felt so good not to hide her feelings and fears any longer.

But most of all, it felt so good to know that she wasn't alone.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Jack had no idea how much time passed as he held Sam in his arms, letting her cry her heart out into his shoulder. But, honestly, he really didn't care. He would have stood there forever if necessary, if that was what she needed. Because the only thing that mattered to him in that moment was being there for Carter, helping her through this mess. And until he'd fulfilled that objective, he wasn't going anywhere.

So he stayed right where he was, holding her and trying to comfort her as best he could until finally her tears began to subside and she became still in his arms once more. As her breathing began to even out and her tense muscles began to relax, Jack rubbed one hand in calming circles on her back while the other stroked her hair. It felt so good to hold her and, truthfully, it was helping him as much as it was helping her.

After a few minutes of standing quietly in his embrace, Jack felt her sigh against him and then she began to pull back. He didn't want to let her go, but he did, just enough for her to look up at him.

The sight of her pale and tear-stained face made Jack's heart give another painful clench. Gently, he used his thumbs to wipe away some of the damp trails on her cheeks, watching as Sam closed her eyes with another sigh. Looking at her carefully, Jack saw just how deeply exhausted she was. She had been so run down to begin with and now her emotional release had left her completely drained.

"Hey," Jack said softly, getting her to open her eyes as he moved his hands to rest on her shoulders. "Come on." Turning her gently, he steered her over to the couch and she sank down onto it without protest. He took a seat beside her and she immediately leaned into his side, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Thank you, sir," she said quietly, her eyes closing. "For being here."

Jack turned his head slightly so he could look at her face. It took a moment for him to reply but when he did, his words were utterly and completely sincere. "I wouldn't be anywhere else."

She didn't say anything more or even open her eyes, but the hint of a smile that appeared briefly on her face told Jack that she'd heard him.

"Tired?" he asked her after a moment, even though the answer was obvious.

She nodded, eyes flickering open part way.

Grabbing a cushion from the corner of the couch, Jack placed it in his lap. She seemed to understand his intention right away and without further encouragement slid down to lie on her side, facing away from him with her head resting on the pillow. Jack draped one arm over her waist and she took hold of that hand in her own. With his free hand, he began smoothing the hair back from her face and was relieved to feel her relax completely beneath his touch, finally letting the tension leave her muscles.

Jack continued to stroke Sam's hair while she lay there quietly, neither of them saying anything. He knew that they still had things to talk about, that there was still a lot she needed to get out in the open, but Jack had a feeling she would get to that on her own. He could sense that she was deep in thought and decided to wait until she was ready to begin. And after a few minutes, she did.

"I guess I really haven't been fooling anyone lately," she said softly.

Jack thought of all the people at the SGC who had been so concerned for her lately and knew that she was probably right. "No one that knows you."

She sighed, sounding a bit frustrated. "I just really wanted to believe it... I really wanted to believe that I was going to be okay."

"You will be," Jack assured her. He was going to make sure of that.

Another second or two passed in silence before she spoke again. "I feel like I've lost control of everything in my life, and I hate that." Her frustration was creeping into her voice now. "Marvin Garrett might be dead, but it's as if he's still the one in control -- keeping me from living my life, keeping me from feeling normal. And that makes me so angry. Angry at him and angry at myself."

Jack could feel that she had tensed up again, and realized that he had as well. Anger. Well, he could sure as hell relate to that. After all, he'd been feeling a lot of anger himself lately. But he didn't want her to feel that way. Not at all. He was trying to think of the right words to say to her, when she spoke again, quietly.

"I should be stronger."

Jack was momentarily taken aback. She was doubting her strength? "Carter, you're about as strong as anyone could be." Didn't she know that?

"I don't feel like it."

"You are," he said firmly. "Think of all the crap you've survived in the past few years, all the asses you've kicked -- Goa'uld, human... non-Goa'uld... non-human..."

She still looked doubtful. "Then how come I can't even deal with this?"

"You can," Jack said. "Just give yourself a chance."

She was quiet for a minute, and Jack left her to her thoughts, letting her take her time with everything. After a stretch of silence, she shifted onto her back so she could look up at him, still keeping hold of his hand.

"You know what the worst part is?" she asked him.

Jack stilled his hand on her forehead. "What?"

"I don't feel safe anymore."

"You don't?" Jack felt terrible. He wanted nothing more than to make her feel safe, to make her feel secure, and if he couldn't even do that for her...

But the way that she looked at him then stopped all of his thoughts.

"I do right now," she said, and as she gave Jack's hand a grateful squeeze, he felt a warm welling deep within his chest. "But not when I'm alone in the middle of the night." She paused, her gaze drifting away from Jack's. "It's like Garrett took away my whole sense of security."

Jack had to force down a sudden surge of rage, rage at that psychopathic bastard who had done this to Carter, who had made her feel this way. But for her sake, Jack pushed those feelings as far away as possible, focusing only on trying to help her. "Then you'll take it back," he stated simply.

She looked unconvinced.

"You will, Carter," he told her. "You'll get there."

"And until then?"

Jack shrugged. "Security system... dog..."

She smiled.

He tried again. "Great Dane? Alaskan Malamute?"

"I don't think so," she replied, but Jack was sure she was close to laughing.

"Lhasa Apso?"

This time she did laugh. Just a bit, but it was enough to bring a grin to Jack's face, enough to lighten his heart.

"Sir, I'm not getting a dog."

"Oh." He gave her his best crestfallen look and she smiled again. And Jack couldn't help but smile back, glad that he'd been able to lighten her mood, even if only for a moment or two.

As her smile began to fade away, she became thoughtful again, staring off into space as she idly ran her thumb back and forth over the knuckles of Jack's hand. He watched the movement for a while, drinking in the fact that she was there with him safe and sound, before turning his attention back to her face. Seeing a far-off, melancholy look in her eyes, Jack wanted to comfort her further. So he touched her cheek lightly with the back of one finger, drawing her gaze back to his face.

"You're gonna get through this, Sam," he said quietly, fully confident in his assertion.

Her eyes looked up at his, asking him for reassurance. "How do you know?"

"Because you're Samantha Carter," Jack replied simply. "And because you've got me, Teal'c, Daniel, and Janet to make sure you do."

She squeezed his hand, her eyes never leaving his. "You guys are the best."

He gave her a quick grin. "We aim to please."

She smiled briefly before turning serious again. "I'm very lucky," she whispered.

This time, Jack squeezed her hand. "So are we."

She held his gaze for a moment longer before her exhaustion won out and her eyes slowly closed. Jack became completely still, not wanting to disturb her, knowing that she needed to rest. And as he sat there, watching her drift off to sleep, Jack felt more at peace than he had in a long time.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

When Jack awoke later, it took him a second to remember where he was and why. He must have drifted off himself after Sam had fallen asleep. All daylight had faded since then and with no lights on in the house, the room was now dark save for a small amount of light filtering in from a streetlamp. As he lifted his head from the back of the couch and carefully stretched his stiff neck, Jack realized what had woken him -- Sam was stirring.

She was only moving very slightly, but it was enough to put Jack on alert. Leaning closer to her in the darkness, he saw her furrowed brow and knew that she was having a nightmare. Concerned and not wanting her to suffer any longer, Jack placed one hand on her forehead and used the other to rub her arm gently up and down.

"Carter," he said quietly, but she remained firmly in the realm of her troubling dream. "Come on, Sam, wake up," he tried again.

At first there was no response, but as he slid his hand from her forehead into her hair, she awoke with a start, clutching his arm in a sudden and painful grip.

"Carter, it's all right," he assured her, slightly startled by her response. He could see that her eyes were open wide and her hold on his arm remained as tight as ever. "It's just me."

She released his arm almost as quickly as she had grabbed it, letting out a breath at the same time. "Sorry, sir." She drew fresh air into her lungs. "It was so dark and I thought..."

Jack moved his thumb in reassuring circles against her arm. "It's okay."

She relaxed slightly, but Jack could feel that she was still tense, that she hadn't let go completely.

"Sam?"

She started to sit up. "I'm okay now, sir," she said quickly. "If you want to go home..." She turned away from him.

Jack put a hand on her arm and stopped her from moving any further. He didn't want her pulling away again, physically or otherwise.

In response, she turned back slowly and their eyes met in the shadowy darkness.

"I'm staying," he said in a low voice. "As long as you want."

She hesitated for a moment, but then seemed to accept the sincerity of his words and sank down gratefully again, settling herself into the pillow. Once she was comfortable, she turned her head to look up at him through the darkness. "Sorry about your arm," she said apologetically.

Remembering the force of her grasp, Jack couldn't help but grin. "That's quite the grip you've got there, Carter." He was glad when she smiled at that, but he was unable to forget why she had grabbed his arm like that and the memory caused his own grin to soon fade away. "You were having a nightmare?" It came out more as a statement than a question.

After a brief hesitation, she nodded.

"Garrett?"

"I guess so," she said quietly. "Everything was indistinct, but it felt like he was there. And then when I woke up... "

"You thought I was him," Jack finished for her.

"Just for a moment," she said. "But yes."

Jack went back to stroking her hair, doing his best to make her feel comfortable and cared for. "You're safe now."

"I know," she said gratefully.

"What don't you try getting some more rest?"

She nodded and settled onto her side, snuggling down deeper into the pillow. "Are you comfortable?" she asked after a moment.

"I'm fine," Jack assured her, not wanting her to worry about him. Besides, he _was _fine now. More than fine. "Just rest."

"Thank you," she murmured drowsily. "For everything."

Jack was thankful himself, so thankful and relieved that she had survived, that she was safe. And she was going to be okay, he knew. In time she was going to be okay. Finding his own comfort in that thought, Jack found her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Go back to sleep," he whispered.

And in the safety of his arms, she did.

* * *

_Epilogue coming soon…

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_


	9. Epilogue

_A/N: Here we are, as promised... a short epilogue. I hope to have another story in the works before too long. Thanks to everyone for reading this one!

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_

Epilogue:

_Two weeks later..._

As Sam geared up, getting ready to head to the gate room, she couldn't help but smile. This was going to be her first mission since returning to active duty, and she was excited. She was excited not only by the prospect of venturing off to another new planet, but also because she felt like going on this mission marked the official return to normality for her.

In some ways the last two weeks had seemed very long, and they had definitely been difficult at times. And Sam knew she wouldn't be where she was now, she wouldn't be doing as well as she was now, if it hadn't been for her friends and teammates. There was no doubt in her mind that Colonel O'Neill, Daniel, Teal'c, and Janet had all played a vital role in her recovery. Especially Colonel O'Neill.

If it hadn't been for him, Sam knew she would still be right where she'd been in the week following her release from the infirmary. And that wasn't a good place at all. But he hadn't let her stay there, and never would have. None of her friends would have. And that made Sam love them all more than ever, made her feel luckier than ever.

They had all been there for her, had all rallied around her in such a way that Sam wondered how she could have ever felt alone. But she knew that she'd been pushing them away at first, trying desperately to keep them at arm's length. And she knew now what a huge mistake that was. Because if it hadn't been for them... well, she didn't even like to think about it.

But again, no matter how much she tried to pretend that she was okay, that she didn't need them, they had known better, had seen right through her. And she was grateful for that. She was also grateful for the amount of time they'd all spent with her over the past couple of weeks, Colonel O'Neill even arranging for all of SG-1 to have some time off to spend with her. And Janet had been there as often as she could, too.

Yes, Sam knew she was lucky.

All geared up now, Sam made her way to the gate room, the smile still on her face. And as she found the rest of her team waiting for her at the foot of the ramp, her smile widened.

"Ready, Major?" Colonel O'Neill asked, and he, too, was grinning. In fact, so was Daniel. And even Teal'c had a smile on his face, one that could actually be recognized as a smile by someone who didn't know him.

"Yes, sir," Sam replied enthusiastically. And she really was.

"Good," Colonel O'Neill said with a nod, and Sam didn't fail to hear the sincerity in his voice.

Just then, the seventh chevron locked and the outgoing wormhole was established with a familiar kawoosh. They all turned to look up at the control room where General Hammond stood, waiting to see them off.

"SG-1, you have a go," the General spoke over the loudspeaker.

Colonel O'Neill gave him a casual salute and turned toward the gate. "Let's move out, campers."

Sam followed her teammates up the ramp and toward the gate. As they disappeared through the event horizon ahead of her, Sam paused and turned back, looking up again at the control room. Her eyes met those of General Hammond and he smiled and gave her a nod.

Smiling again herself, Sam faced the shimmering event horizon. She was ready for this. Even though she still suffered from the occasional nightmare, even though she still had to deal with some unpleasant memories, she was ready. Her memories and fears no longer dominated her life and Colonel O'Neill had been right -- she'd regained her sense of security and she'd taken back her life. And this was the final step to getting back to where she wanted to be. To where she belonged.

So, taking a deep breath, Sam stepped through the event horizon to join her teammates on the other side, where she knew they would be waiting for her.

The End.


End file.
